Tuesday Teasers

Tuesday Teasers is hosted by Should Be Reading. The rules are as follows:


Grab your current read and let the book fall open to a random page. Share two sentences somewhere between lines 7 and 12 and the title of the book that you’re getting the teaser from. Please avoid spoilers! Read the official Tuesday Teaser Rules.






My teaser this week is from The Comedy Thesaurus, subtitled, '3,241 Quips, Quotes, and Smartass Remarks' by Judy Brown. This thick book is comprised of quotes from various comedians and entertainers. I love perusing these sorts of books at bedtime when I'm too tired to read a novel but not quite tired enough to sleep. It's my 'in-between' book.

The Comedy Thesaurus is arranged alphabetically by subject. I'm going to break the rules and post a few quotes.

From page 64:

Poets have said that the reason to have children is to give yourself immortality. Immortality? Now that I have five children, my only hope is that they are all out of the house before I die.
- Bill Cosby

Page 116:

Signs on the freeway are funny. "Orange Cones Mean Men at Work." What else could orange cones mean? Psychedelic witches embedded in asphalt?
- Karen Babbitt

Page 162:

There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore looking like an idiot.
- Steven Wright

Page 254:

The problem with marriage is that it involves men and women. And that's a pretty bad match.
- Cathy Ladman

Page 234:

A recent marketing poll shows that 32 percent of all diamonds are purchased right before Christmas. And 50 percent are purchased right after the test strip turns pink.
- Conan O'Brien